Alaska, the 49th State

For those of you who dont know I took a trip to Alaska I did! The only thing is I find myself repeating the story over and over again to the many interested listeners. So here I kind of logged what I did and what I thought about the trip so that I wont keep re-telling it.

Cruise= AWESOME.

Alaska was Alaska. Cold, windy, and wet. Port cities
resembled those of the caribbean as most of them rely solely on the
tourism that the cruise industry delivers to them. Gold and diamond shops
competing for the most tourist dollars. It really was disheartening
seeing even pristine Alaska contaminated with consumerism. It seems like
theres almost more amusement in going to Alaska to shop for souvenirs
than to explore its mountains, experience its wildlife and natural
beauty, and take in everything it has to offer. More like what can we
sell these cheeseballs to make a buck. We went to Ketchikan which
resembled an nineteenth century, north eastern fishing village that never
evolved because of a lack of monetary input. We went on a hike saw two or
three Bald Eagles, two salmon trying to loosen their roe as threw
themselves into the air and seconds later bellyflopping on the cold, grey
Alaskan water, and a dozen banana slugs that looked like their pale
yellow-green skin had failed to ripen into the bright yellow that would
have warranted the name.

Juneau was by far the climax of the voyage. After arising at 645 alaska
time (four hour differential from EST) we took a bus ride to the
heliport, got geared up in a red jumpsuit; fully equipped with a
miner-style helmet and what looked like astro-boots, a waist pack that
held a package of tissues, a bottle of water and a Luna bar. From there
we jumped on a chopper and flew over the Mendenhall Glacier to the
accumulation point and checked out the scenery. When I finally saw the
tent site of where the chopper was to land I thought for a moment about
the amenities that had been given me. Should I get lost or separated, I
was to survive on the Glacier for as long as possible on a Luna Bar, that
really excited me. Anyway we landed and got some steel cleats that fit
around my astro-boots and an ice pick. we marched around collected some
of the glacial meltwater that flew over and inbetween the Glaciers. So
that was really neat and after we toured we got back on the transport
chopper and back to heliport where we disembarked and went back to the ship.

Skagway was the remnant of an old gold rush town that had been founded in
the 1800's. The downtown portion reminded me of the old westerns where
the sheriff and outlaw would duel it out until the death. We got on a
train and got the informational tour as we followed the path the old
stampeders took to get to the mines. It was quite perilous, really. We
heard one story about this guy that had sold his entire life savings to
buy eggs because in Skagway during the rush you could sell them for
eighteen dollars a dozen. So after he transported them all the way to
skagway, he opened his pack to his eggs had frozen. So he offed himself
and when others came and buried him they went through his stuff to find
that only the top layer had frozen. Needless to say the rest of them had
some complimentary egg breakfasts for the upcoming days. There was also
an actual outlaw story about this guy Sobe Smith who was killed by some
other guy in town. They have memorials to them in the city. They had a
duel and the good guy shot Sobe in the heart who immediately died. The
good guy however got shot in the loins and died twelve days later.
Another case of getting fucked, like some town memorial does him any
justice. At least in the pain of his last hours he could think of himself
as a hero, but whats the point of being a hero if you cant enjoy any free
drinks for the title? Afterwards my dad and I walked the streets and hung
out by a river while my mom and sister shopped. We also ate at this old
brothel called the Red Onion Saloon. All the waitresses were dressed as
harlots, which was pretty hot. I got a picture to commemorate the event =D.

Wrangell was the nicest village we saw because it was an actual fishing
village that really didnt give a rats ass about the cruiselines. We took
a city tour. This place actually still mined gold and platinum and made
most of its living off seafood. We saw a Petroglyph beach, which is neat.
Apparently natives thought it would be a good idea to carve shit in the
rocks to confuse centuries of neo-anthropologists into believing a bunch
of shit that isnt true about their level of sophistication. We saw Totems
and stuff. I dont know I dont really like totems, they dont have much
appeal to me.